Journals 133-134

Journal 133: “Crowley treated magick as a psychological tool for change. Thus he argues that the goetia weren’t real demons, but were just physiological extensions of the person’s mind. By taking this stance he underestimated the Goetia, and didn’t take into account they could be real entities who could have an effect on the ego filters that act as a gate keeper to the identity.” – Taylor Ellwood, Magickal identity

Where does one start with knowledge of the stars?

Planetary magick. Look up planets and their devotions and associations. 

Since you work on dignities can you tell my why my spiritual reputation got so bad?

[paraphrased] I know but I’m not going to tell you. You need to figure that out yourself.

Where does one start with knowledge of shapeshifting?

You can start with E.A Koetting’s work since you seem to be such a big fan of his.

What is your perception of me?

[omited do to being paragraphs long. Wasn’t inherently bad or good just long]

What is your title?

Duke.

What kind of offerings do you tend to like?

Vanilla,  barbeque sauce, tea, cofee, fine things

What is the infernal empire?

An organization in the after life where we operate and perform

Where do you think I should go to take on my ascent?

Study. Study planets. 


What is ascension to you?

Simply becoming more than what you are. Becoming and achieving nirvana. It’s what all of you should strive for. 

Are you omniscient?

Yes I am.

So that was fun. He wanted me to write everything down. I originally gave him apple juice as an offering and he told me he didn’t like that but that he preferred coffee and tea. I aksed which creamer he liked walnut or pumpkin spice to which he said pumpkin spice was fine. I was surprised he had so much to say about me. He also had been keeping an eye on me. He told me to focus on doing magickal rituals rather than making wishes or the like. I told him I know. He told me to come to him to oversee future rituals. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t about to go back on our agreement after making it. Which is more so a reflection of the work I’m doing with Azazel or plan to be doing once I call him. Lastly, he wanted to know why the face I gave him and I told him in short because I was vein.

 My magickal to do list is almost all completed I just need to perform 1-2 rituals and gather rocks. Which should be easy given my mother got paid the other day. I performed my ritual of time but it felt less like a ritual and more so like an evocation. I release I didn’t have to go through all the theatrics that I bothered with. I did feel a presence when I evoked time as part of that ritual and I found shortly after completing it I was able to solve several time travel paradoxes that I’ve already forgotten the solutions and problems to just do to my incredibly bad memory.

Yep. Gona study and ordered a book on norse magick. Been seeing a lot of signs such as deer and bears from artemis. Which is good because I like her alot. That’s all for now. 

  • Acrians Locket

3:33 PM

9/13/19

Journal 134: DOT DOT DOT

I sat cross legged in the shower. I felt the divinity above my head and imagined myself growing bigger. Until I was that of divinity itself and could pluck the earth from orbit. I saw the galaxy in front of me. I then focused on creation. I imagined hopper as an extension of myself and molded him. To my exact liking. In the exact form I please and sculptor his personality than thrust it upon myself. I saw within my minds eye I had taken the appearance of my creation. I then felt smaller more grounded to earth. I then shed my skin, and returned to my default God formed. I felt I had three faces and six arms. I felt divinity, true divinity within me and then I left.

11:21 PM

9/11/19

Journal 132: Blar, the color of death

This refers to funerary rights in the viking era and general symbolism of the color blue back then. Blue was often associated with death back then, and even in some later medieval sources. Which makes sense I mean it was the color of a corpse at that stage of decomposition. I was watching a youtube video on the matter and it was titled “Odin’s Cloak” and it went into detail about this sort of thing.

Härger, A. (2019, August 7). The Cloak of Odin [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/

    watch?v=nJI4Rowamsg 

Death and life are married in my opinion. You cannot truly have one without the other. Death is inherently tied to that of life’s veins. Pledged to her in a sense. Fertility of the dead back then was heavily tied to life. That’s something I noticed on my own in my own work though. When I first channeled Occeair the god of Genwa, he had a life aspect to him. But he also had that of death among his person as well. That’s when I started to put the pieces together, at least in my own work that death and fertility and death and life were a pair. Not that it’s not common sense. Which it is. But rather that the two are heavily congruent in ways most people do not suspect. Most see them as opposites as opposed to siblings. Anyways, just thought was cool information that I wanted to share with you. 

But yeah anyways. This is how far I’ve come on my to do list.


Spiritual to do list:

Meditate on Hermes’s photo and ask what he meant by “kin someone in the pantheon”

Buy that Artemis poster to hang on wall.https://www.redbubble.com/people/elisebrave/works/30914296-artemis?p=poster&rbs=3191d78b-fa7f-4823-919b-a203a78b6d49&ref=similar_products

Establish a connection with Abadon.

Go to spiritual shop, and buy several white candles and and several red ones.


Get hands on, amethyst, Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Chrysocolla, Serpentine, Blood Stone

Purchase key necklace

Call Abadon

Call Odin

Call Lucifer


Read up on lucifer

Perform the ritual of time (self created)

Acquire a hammer for the ritual of time [scatch that not breaking the hour glass]


Perform shapeshifting ritual (self created)

[the self created rituals are not shared until tested]

Gather, clear nail polish, black tea powder, black food die, sandlewood oil, jasmine oil, bergamot oil, ginger oil, rice paper and the mars symbol. (for masuclinty nail polish, self created)

Paint Box for self change ritual (self created)

Ritual to call a friend (self created later share)Ritual to call a friend (self created later share)

Anyways as mentioned previously I had an arrangement with Marbas the demon of causing disease and healing them to heal my friend when she was injured after banishing her higher self. I was reading up on him when he appeared and I asked him several questions. One of which was what “prince” meant since many magicians and myself have been called prince or princess when working with the goetia and his response was that it was a sort of rank that most magicians come with when working with the goetia. I also asked him what ascension meant to him and he told me it was a loaded question. I ended our agreement there and when I asked about my mind he told me that that was not the sort of healing he did. He told me he specializes in plagues. He didn’t want to be mentioned here so that is where I’ll leave it. I told him I would be brief.

In other news Loki’s name has been echoing in my mind. I’ve been trying to avoid the temptation of working with Loki because I know for a fact it would damage my relationship with Odin. That being said he frequently reaches out. One thing I haven’t mentioned much is my necklace dedicated to Dionysus. I have a necklace that I call a “friendship” necklace with him. I feel his energy around it as i wear it and I can even feel him eavesdropping as I mention him here. I was out yesterday when I saw a deer and several ducks. I knew it instantly a sign from Artemis and possibly Zues. I associate Zues with ducks and while he intimidates me he has been reaching out as of late. I finally evoked Abaddon as mentioned and he told me he wanted a frienship/working relationship which I am totally down for. I also want to establish a connection with Apollo. Helios has reached out but that more so has to do with my relationship with the sun then anything else.

In my magickal work I tend to believe everything is somewhat alive or has some kind of energy. I don’t often act like this though I have had conversations and spiritual talks with things that would be deemed “in-animate” such as computer but in general I hold to this belief. I tend to pull on everything when I work. That includes ancient native systems where everything has a name, signature, purpose ext. It was really bad when I was crazy but as currently established I am not crazy anymore. Real magick mixed with delusions as per this book you have been privy too. But let’s just say I can tell fiction and reality apart now.

But yeah when I talk to the sun I feel it’s energy and the area around me tends to shine brighter, sometimes the sun rises from the trees to meet my view when I have a conversation or greet with him. I feel a distinct presence when I speak to the moon that I often identify with Artemis. Who is a badass by the way. I love her. I wonder if theirs a helios sun connection I am not aware of presently.

A long time ago as mentioned previously I did a banishing jar to get rid of F. from my life. It worked and he rarely comes around anymore though it fully took 1-4 months to properly manifest. I mean don’t get me wrong he is definitely still in our lives, but it’s as though he has disappeared from mine entirely. He was around today and asked me to show him quote on quote “how to sell his soul” to which I will oblige by giving him an early copy of my grimoire “How to sell your soul and other nifty things a beginners guide to black magick” which tackles everything from wards, to sigil magick, to basic divination to pact making and demonic evocation and by demonstrating proper magick to him soon. He hates reading.

I think he thinks it (making arrangements with demons and magick in general) is a cheat code. It’s not a cheat code. Their’s an elaborate ritual which I partially completed to sell your soul in the grand grimoire but it’s more so an elaborate pact making ritual than anything else. You can actually see a very christian take on the ritual in the American movie “I sold my soul to satan welcome to hollywood” which can be successfully pirated on the website Youtube as of the writing here. It’s only available in English as of the writing here as well. I noticed that after partially completing it I went slightly insane (as a tole on my health which is a consequence to this particular ritual should you not finish it), gods took note of me and met me in person, I developed a spiritual reputation though not a good one, and several other things. When I asked Marbas about my spiritual reputation he laughed. Which is not the first time a spirit has laughed upon my reputation. Lucifer told me to work on it and improve it. Yeah spirits know of me but I am far from Alister crowley on the matter and I need to fix it. Which I will. Eventually!

But yeah I need to patch things up with Gaap now that Marbas is out of the way, call lucifuge, start working with Azazel, Belzebub and finish the ritual of time which I will outline for you should it be successful. One thing that happens when you perform a ritual someone else has created is that your energy fuses with the magician’s that created that ritual. The frequencies get mixed and depending on how well that mixing goes you can have an awesome vibration on your hands that’s fun to play with.

Also I tracked down the demon “Azerath” apparently I misheard the name. The demon in question is Astaroth. This isn’t the first time I’ve misheard a name like this. I realized recently that I need to repair things with the demon Gaap. Who I used to have a relationship with before telling me he wanted a divorse in the mental hospital. A divorse meaning he wanted to end our arrangement. I do really want to work with him and patch things up. I also should call eligos as well. I have a lot to do. Most of it regulated to spiritual evocation. I had my first injection of testosterone recently as mentioned multiple times in this book so that should fix alot on the appearance end. Yep that’s all for now.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 6:10 PM
  • 9/11/19

Journal entry 131: Good Omens ||| Terry Pratchet, Neil Gaimen

So I evoked Abadon today. (Ah-bad-den) is the church’s pronunciation I believe. Not much to report since he said he doesn’t like when people write about him. He was kind. He asked me if I wanted his help to ascend and I said yes. He told me he wanted a friendship and working relationship with me. I asked what that would look like and he said “you give me tasks and I complete them”. He has a really nice energy. I asked about the Apollo thing with him and he said that he was an older more mature Apollo which makes sense to me. He did clarify that he has no romantic feelings for me which I already know. I used his enn in the evocation and heard and comuned with him perfectly. He wasn’t physically before me as man or women but I heard him and felt him there so I consider that progress.

Another thing is that Herme’s and Lucifuge’s names both appeared in my mind during the evocation. 

I’ve been rereading my conjure codex. One thing I really like about the fairly Christian Hoodoo, is the approach to spirits. You don’t approach them with aggression or malice and instead build bonds with them. That is the approach I think one should take with demons. Theirs no reason not to, and if you approach them right you can have some very good relationships on your hands. Don’t treat them as equals or superiors. I say this because within goetic operations you need to be the center of attention. You need to be the center of the world. You are divinity. In these operations you are the higher power. You are literally God. God is above all things right? So within Solomatic work so are you. You are the goat of the operation. The second you start bowing down to these guys is the second they take advantage of you because they will try to flip it. That being said, they are teachers and most of them are kind and compassionate and want to see their students grow and learn.

They aren’t inherently evil entities. Some of them are dark. But they aren’t evil and pure evil as a concept many magicians would argue does exist. Evil is real. But demons aren’t evil. Anyone who has worked with them outside a Christian mainframe or mindset will tell you this. Also if you go threatening demons, the work will still get done but the results will mimic that of someone who was under distress when they emerge. I mean if I was an expert painter, and someone held me at gun point saying “paint me a picture or else” that painting is going to look a lot different then if someone bought me cake and icecream and in exchange asked me to paint them a painting. Build relationships with demons. Just because you’re God doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it.

I find goetic work interesting for that reason. I say goetic work but indeed even the title of the book “goetia” is a misnomer. Thes a lot to unpack regarding such a name but I’d rather not divulge into that and the mistranslations here. I just use the term for convenience. But yeah. My conjure codex talks alot about hybrid forms of magick between Vodou and goetic work. It’s a very interesting read that I highly suggest you look up on. 


In other news. I’ve been working on my revised edition of this journal. I feel it something I may have to self publish as well as something that has a lot of omitted information. I’ve taken out most of the madness or entires therein. Removed many entires regarding imposter entities so as to not confuse the reader. Removed entries related to pure insanity or pop culture magick. I think it a better book. The full unrevised version of this journal can be found at the following link:

However it has a lot of things wrong with it and a lot of madness and amateurities inclined which is why it will never see the light of publication. I won’t hide my past mistakes as a magician. Like many would. They’re apart of my journey, however inaccurate and humiliating. That being said they aren’t worthy of being published and I won’t go back to erase them I’m not going to shine a spotlight on them either. I don’t think I’m going to publish this journal either. Not necessarily. Maybe one day but who knows. Regardless theirs an revised edition for a reason and we’re just going to pretend that it’s the only version for now.

Anyways that’s all to report for now.

  • Acrians  Locket
  • 9/9/19

12:49 PM

Journals 127-130

Journal 127: “I’m generally not afraid of my own madness” – BALG user Egodeathisflase

The title to this entry? Foreshadowing. I don’t sense I will go insane again in the near future but knowing my luck who knows. Anyways I have two different dreams to share with you today.

“I had a dream there was a game. A game where you could look like anything you desired. It changed your face in the real world. My X friend Morgan was there. I spent the whole game trying to find people who looked like me so I could just replicate my own face or get it as close to me as possible. I was playing the game when we did something illegal. And Morgan and I were sent to jail. I slipped him a pill and together we took pills that put us back in the game. Then we were taken to jail there. While the officer escorted us away he asked me which name I wanted “frig or atsushi” to which I responded “atsushi” then there was an option when being escorted by the guards for a scar and I picked one but it did old man makeup on me and I kind of looked like an idea of Odin. I tried to change back but got stuck. Then I got woken up.

After a second, in the prison setting I asked “is this prison?” “Yes but you get to look like anything you want” this is the second dream I’ve had where I’ve been jailed up Lately. Remind me to tell you about my thor mental asylum dream when I can.

I think its correlative to a magical endeavour I. Doing and may have to do with the fact that I googled both orias and Odin before going to bed.”

And in the second dream

“I my dream I was heavily related to Odin and darker. I had something important to tell him. I was hiding future prophecies in song and writing. I knew the prophecy but upon waking up forgot it. It was weird in the dream I considered us related. Like I considered myself his son. It was a dark energy of the thing. Then I woke up”

So those were my dreams. Something is telling me not to write the second one down but I will forget it if I don’t include it here. Lately I’ve written a lot about the african trickster spirit known as Anansi. He’s a main character on a fictional show I’m working on (mythforce) and much like Ronoveve who is also a main character on this show his name has been echoing in my head. Lately I’ve been reading up on Odin because I plan to evoke him. I get the vibe he’s asking me to evoke him. Since my introject of balder (kim) evoked him last (and before you ask I know that’s strange but I have trauma related to delusions of the man and kim was the manifestation of my mind in that regard) I haven’t really called him but I get the vibe he wants me to. In the same way Abadon wants me to and Lucifer wants me to. I have a lot and I do mean alot to discuss with Lucifer but meanwhile I know exactly why Abadon wants me to call him.

I used to have a crush on Apollo. A really bad crush and I was infatuated with him. What happened was i was in the hospital and I felt something strike me spiritually and suddenly I was head over heels in love with the guy. I don’t know what it was. Like someone cast a love spell or something. I can’t chalk it up to anything specific outside of what I’ve mentioned here. Abadon is in many ways to put it “apollos claws” as I have seen people say. He is an aspect of Apollo. He made the aspect happen that way. It’s strange. Just to be clear I’m still trying to get over my apollo crush. I have no idea what came over me and I have an idea of whom is responsible but overall it just irritates me. The crush is twined with hate for me, not towards Apollo or Abadon but at myself. Once I caught apollo when he was watching me because like I’ve said before I can sense when the gods are listening and we had a conversation.

It’s weird talking to a god. It doesn’t feel like talking to a normal spirit or even an angel. It feels divine. It’s hard to put into words. It’s sort of the been there done that thing. But basically the topic moved towards me and my past lives and apollo told me we had a past life together where I was close with him. Lately I’ve been thinking about it alot. Not in a romantic way more in a “ahh so this is why I’m so drawn to you now” sort of way. I still don’t worship anything. I kind of want to get a grapevine tattoo inspired by dionysus but like….yeah I’ve been tethering on worship with the guy and trust me when I say I really don’t want to go there. I’ve been taking a break from wearing my necklace dedicated to him. I just….yeah.

But yeah Apollo has made it clear to me via signs he really doesn’t like me that way. So the fact that I keep feeling struck by whatever everytime get over him causing me to keep thinking about him bothers me. It’s something akin to a love spell. I know so because I’m asexual. I don’t get crushes like this out of nowhere. I mean I do get them out of nowhere but I don’t get them in the way my feelings for him manifested and honestly it’s rather annoying. I blame cupid. Who did visit me or something divine claiming to be him visited me and took credit for it. So yeah. I’m frustrated. Not just romantically but as an individual. It’s upsetting.

Cupid has a weird energy. It’s very nice but he is kind of a dick so like. I like cupid but I also hate cupid. My experiences with the god are mixed. Watch Abadon read this and then go “nobody cast a spell on you its in your mind” or some bullshit like that. See right now as I’m typing this I’m overcome with this lovey dovey feeling I just don’t get, let alone with strangers I hardly know. The stranger in this case being Apollo. Also while I type this in starbucks a breakup song “I forgot” by clara mae is playing. Now I get the vibe that Baritaste the Genwa god of sex of all people wants me to call him. I have a love hate relationship with Bairtaste too. Bairtaste and Cupid have very similar energies actually. But it’s against genwa rules to associate them with other gods even though shortly after communing with Yena the Genwa goddess of earth who is the earth personified I was pointed in the direction of the titaness Gaia. You should try genwa. It’s cool.

www.genwareligion.com 


Also despite whatever the fuck baritastes rules say, he can totally do love. He’s set me and my wife up on dates before. He made her like me after I vented to him about her not epecting him to take any action. Then she started wearing makeup after she met somebody she liked alot. And i”m like Baritaste you bro. For the record despite my feelings towards her, my wife and I are not romantically together. We’re just very close hence the terminology. Back when I worshiped him before returning to the left handed path I found myself pushed to grow my hair and wear makeup. Not become a girl mind you. But he wanted me to do those things. Long hair in genwa is important. I’m not sure why. I channeled something I never made public about it tying you to nature or some shit a while ago. I don’t know. I think theirs a spiritual reason for the gods doing it that I’m currently unaware.

But yeah. Now Bairtaste wants me to call him and I can feel him in the room as I type this. UGH IM SO PISSED. AT MYSELF BUT ALSO AT THE ATTRACTION I FEEL. FUCKING HELL.

  • Acrians Locket

8/27/19

4:00 PM

Journal 128: “You’re just in time for the end of the world!” – Peridot, Steven Universe

What happens when we die. Well every human being is made up of a spark. This spark is your soul or your essence or whatever junk you want to call it. We reincarnate. In each life there are certain lessons that we need to learn. When we die the soul, this spark it sheds the skin of our person. This skin so to speak is you. Everything about you. What makes you, you. Your personality and your likes and dislikes. This “skin” sorry I cant think of a better word, then goes on among the stars to its chosen afterlife or planets or whatever. You ascend or go on to do cool shit. Then the spark itself with some residual energy from who you were, continues onwards going back into the universe. There it goes on to learn new lessons whatever they may be. This spark then goes into like a tree, or another human or a fish or something. Everything is alive to an extent. And all that residual energy goes back into the universe. That’s reincarnation baby. I learned this through research and exploration. But I’m a mad potato so maybe don’t listen to me if you don’t like my general journal or my grimoures/work.

I’m starting a spiritual YouTube channel. It’s been a long time coming. I’m probably going to wait until I’m on testosterone to formally post something but the first post is most likely going to be called “a debunking of crossroads magic/sellingyoursoul” kind of like a debunking of selling your soul and then pointers in the proper direction for the rightful ritual of the crossroads to obtain a skill and other things like that. Click bait which is to say misleading articles and titles for the purposes of drawing attention to a video, works. Speaking of the crossroads I still have to practise guitar. One of my spirits attached himself to it with my permission and since then I find guitar comes much easier and picks me up when I’m depressed. The key to fighting any sort of depression is to fight it by staying busy. It’s hard as fuck but it brings you out of it. Regarding the crossroads I haven’t heard from the black man in ages but it’s been a while.

I have a spirit I’m working with to help me rid imposter entities in my home. Ever since Marbas cut me off a while ago I haven’t talked to him but lately his name has been echoing in my head as well as Gaap’s. I would like to reiterate as a beginner I did not know what I was doing. I entered into a lot of rookie bargains and made a lot of mistakes I’d really rather not get into. The demons always honored their end but to pretend my spiritual reputation was not hurt by my naivety or that I wasn’t screwed over in some of these bargains would be an idiot mistake.

Lately whenever I read up on Lucifer entities are drawn to me. This has kept me from calling or researching him proper as of late. For some strange reason I have a couple of spirits whom call me his name. It’s very strange. My alter Izekiel was out a while ago and he was directing the spirits and they called him by his title. I was like “bro while I’ve done it before with other spirits I am not wearing lucifers shoes or doing anything remote to him that would mix us up. I never fused or bothered with him in this regard. Yet I’m being addressed as him. Wtf.” which is odd. I’ve found implanted in me a spiritual desire to fuse. This was a desire instilled in me by spirits I work with. It’s weird. It’s kind of like wanting to be a demon. That has never occurred to me. That has never been something in my entire life I craved yet after working with these entities for a long period of time I find it is something they made me want. Now, why this is I couldn’t tell you. But then again theres a lot I can’t tell you. 

I have seen things I’ve never even bothered to write down. I have been places spiritually and on earth that you just can’t fathom to imagine. I’ve seen things that I don’t have the words to explain to you, I have been shown things that I was told I would never understand that haven’t been mentioned here.

I’m just trying to say you my precious journal are not always in the know and I am out doing shit even if these entires as of late have been a little devoid. While i’ts tempting to go back I’m very glad I quite popculture magick. I started following that magick blog I hate just for the fun of it to see their perspective. Latley my self esteem and sex drive have both skyrocketed. I defend myself now, and don’t do the bullshit thing as often as I used to. I am negative and in my personal diary which I have started keeping I cut myself down sometimes but overall I’ve been better.

“ I see a change in you “

Spirits have mentioned this often. Seeing a change in me. But outside of changes to my main personality in some regard I hardly notice. I’m still me. But different. Lately it’s come to my attention that an old god has attached himself to Abgonn. I was talking to Odin earlier today and I asked him about my aspects of Ayrin. He told me that he was not familiar with the book but that he knew of it. I asked him further on the matter and he told me that theirs alot more to creating an aspect than just imaging yourself different to which I acknowledged that he was correct. He told me he wanted to talk to me about Balder to which I clarified I was sorry about that. He then wanted to know about “my plans to save the world“ to which I said, the world is going to end, not soon but it will. Not in my lifetime but in several centuries. Then in order for it to be saved, it will need teams of people and teams of gods far more than one person alone could do. Their would be no point on me focusing on it, which is not something I said to him but something I think in retrospect. Then he said, if I achieved my goal of immortality I could still be here to save it to which I responded “I chose the goal of immortality because I don’t actually want to find what I’m looking for, I just want to go on an adventure” he then asked me to tell him about any delusions I had about ragnarok so theres that.


Spirits see value in my delusions. As covered in the beginning of this book Odin himself is hands on.  He’s always been able to see through my delusions and make sense of them for reasons. Insane people as stated at the beginning of this book are tapping into something but again as stated at the beginning of this book around the entry 30’s I don’t see value in this something. One of the few times I’ve talked to Artemis she told me that she didn’t think I was insane, she told me she thought I was giving out a lot of future predictions and that I was misled. Which yeah. I was paranoid about time itself cracking. But of course. I was tapping into “something” that I’ll give you but I was so incoherent whatever I was tapping into was garbled in the madness. I’m sure people online have bored witness to it.

Anyways I plan on performing the ritual of the key. This ritual is untested as stated at the beginning of the book and a warning from my psychic ass. If you try to replicate any of the rituals I’ve given you and you face consequences because it is as stated UNTESTED MAGICK please don’t go bitching about it. You chose to make that risk. Not me. At this point I would like to remind you that I also post ever entry of this journal to my blog secretlocket on wordpress as well as some entires to “balg” forum. I really am  fond of the balg forum. I’m at a point where I can discern the misinformation when I see it. I think I’m advanced enough for that. I’m far from an expert but to quote one of my spirits “you’re intermediate”. I really do think that venom helped. Be careful of any spirit that wants to give you it’s mark or venom especially if you haven’t worked with the thing for a long time. The same applies to spiritual marriage. If you get a spiritual proposal out of nowhere run.

Lately sometimes when I close my eyes I see sigils. I’ve seen Lucifers and Belials so far. It was strange once I saw Eligos’. Who uses a female form with me by the way. Why she does this I don’t know but she does. Spirits see gender and sexulaity far different from us. I’ll tell you that much. They don’t see gender the way we do. Not even remotely so keep that in mind.

Lately my mom bought herself some flowers, roses to be exact which are a sign of the god Bairtaste from the Genwa pantheon. Bairtaste’s sigil is actually a rose. I got the vibe he wanted me to give him an offering and then I got the vibe it was to wear makeup. I lit an entire insense stick for him and decided I would do the makeup thing later. I just got the vibe he was asking for one. Baritaste is a very flamboyant entity. He’s fun and playful but also overtly sexual in alot of his jokes and flirtation. He has a kind of smooth energy, that feels kind of like a ruby lust. It’s odd. He’s quite similar to cupid as stated multiple times in this but despite previous connections when I pressed Cupid about it he told me “what’s a bairtaste” to which I responded, “oh nevermind than” so I guess they aren’t the same person they just feel awfully similar. Cupid is like Bairtaste turned up to 11. Speaking of Eros has been on my mind and Pan straight up reached out. Same with Venus after I talked to Bairtaste.

I was at the coffee shop and I overheard a girl say quite loudly “yeah well I’ just thought I’d reach out” and then a girl with a bright pink shirt reading “PAN” walked past me and I knew it him. This is not the first time the man has reached out which is how I know this is not a fluke. I get the right handed path thing. I really do. I didn’t for a long time but given certain trials I’ve faced as apart of my journey on the left handed path like I get it. Some people just want to be below something and honestly theirs nothing wrong with that.

My issue is trying to work with gods without worshiping them. I’m really keen to establish a relationship with Odin. On the topic of which while he doesn’t have a place on it not by a long shot, I’ve established an altar. It’s my old nightstand. In the drawer is ritual supplies, on the counter is offerings. In the stand theres a place for all my spiritual books and my tarot cards. It’s quaint and neat. I like it alot. I wish I had a proper alter but it will do for now. I now have nowhere to put my things but my alter found it necessary. Bairtaste made it very clear to me that he wants me to worship him and get a necklace in devotion to him. Similarly to the one I have dedicated to Dionysus. Who has paid me attention lately which is nice.

I’m still having a hard time establishing relationsihps with gods and the like but I figured I may as well.

Spiritual to do list:

Meditate on Hermes’s photo and ask what he meant by “kin someone in the pantheon”

Buy that Artemis poster to hang on wall.

Establish a connection with Apollo.

Go to spiritual shop, and buy several white candles and an extra red one.


Get hands on, amethyst, Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Chrysocolla, Serpentine, Blood Stone

Purchase key necklace

Call Abadon

Call Odin

Call Lucifer


Read up on lucifer

Perform the ritual of time (self created)

Acquire a hammer for the ritual of time


Perform shapeshifting ritual (self created)

[the self created rituals are not shared until tested]

Gather, clear nail polish, black tea powder, black food die, sandlewood oil, jasmine oil, bergamot oil, ginger oil, rice paper and the mars symbol. (for masuclinty nail polish, self created)

Paint Box for self change ritual (self created)

Ritual to call a friend (self created later share)

DO ALL THIS YOU LAZYBONES

So yeah that’s all for now!

  • Acrians Locket
  •  8:12 PM
  •  8/28/19

Journal 129: In a Dark World ||| Tryhardninja

I had a strange dream. My family was at a play. It was a bunch of kids making or poking fun at astec mythology. I remember watching the play as they made fun of the human sacrifice and going “wow this is really racist” and then there was a sign of all the astec gods which I recognized because of Quetzalcoatl being there.

I was in the shower. I was sitting down. Suddenly I was divine. I felt lighter. All around me in the shower was space. Planets surrounding me. I could pluck them away if I desired. I could see anything on earth. Anything I craved. Suddenly I was underwater. I was with my people. I was being worshiped. Then I was brought back out to space. I began to take on the different aspects and their forms as stated in the aspects of Ayrin. I was suddenly Hopper. Before me I saw a basket. Enchanted were letters. I went to touch it but something told me that these were messages for the gods and not for me to read. Then one of them, a scroll glowed blue and unveiled itself to me. “Dear Hopper Usagi, we the kingdom of __________ of the ________ galaxy would like to meet you in this aspect please come here” and below it was a map I couldn’t fully makeout. I thought to myself “no I’m busy” though apart of me wanted to go. Then I was Kismayo or Tongue. I thought to myself “not a spider but spiderlike” I had several arms. Before me were a knitting needle and some yarn/thread. The thread was red. It was my object. I went to go touch it, but something told me “I don’t have the experience in this form” the form being my human self. I switched back to hopper. Something told me to pick up the thread. I went but I recoiled. “This isn’t mine” a spirit spoke up “It’s yours. Your aspect’s. All the toys in this room are yours” I looked around. Lastly I became a women. I had weight on my feet. I imagined it as a ball and chain. I was in some kind of colosseum. “Move” a spirit said to me in the shower. “I can’t” “Your a goddess, move out of the chains” and I did. I broke free of them. I went in to a room.  A giant statue of presumably a god was there. I flew up to it and felt a presence within the statue. It pushed me back down. “Sorry” I said. Then lastly I was some kind of fire god. I had written about one like this prior. I couldn’t make out anything about him. I decided to get out of the shower and write this down.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 8/30/19

Journal 130: “Magic is not a religion anymore than electricity is a religion. It’s a system of dealing with concepts and realities that exist on the edge of cultural (and human) perception.” – The skeptical occultist, on faith and magick

Hot take: if you’re this far into my journal and you aren’t reading the skeptical occultist blog or print what are you doing with your life.

Alot to unpack today. I evoked Lucifer thr other day. He told me the ritual of the key would work. I’ve been researching abadon/apollyon slot latley. I meditated on Hermes photo and asked why he asked me to kin someone from the pantheon and the answer I got was “I just wanted to see if you’d do it” or something like that. I also got the vibe he was waiting on me to finish that story he asked me to write about the Greek apocalypse. I told him that even though prophecy is one of my gifts that the story itself woudnt hold any magick or prophecy. I went to archery to feel closer to artemis/apollo today. I said that wasnt what I was doing at first but as I continued shooting that’s what it became. I felt apollo/abdon feeling amused as I was shooting. I really felt his presence there. I asked if he was laughing at me and got the vibe, that he was hurt I’d think he was laughing at me. But yeah I really like abadon as an entity. I considered it an act of devotion in a sense going to archery and I felt a sort of “thankyou” happy vibe when I left. 

Artemis has sent me more beer imagery lately so that was nice. I talked to an imposter entity claiming to be Challno earlier day. He told me if someone were to evoke abgonn in the ritual of the key they would receive guidance and help from.my higher self. This imposter entity is one I’ve dealt with often. He wasnt as unbearable this time but I did notice instantly he wasn’t my God challno. He talked to much. I did feel the real Challno watching the conversation though. It’s hard to get ahold of the genwa gods but it can be done. They’re to put it nicely busy. Back when f. was more so in my life he told me the vibe he got from Occeair was that ‘if your gona practice his religion you do it properly I should also mention F was just praying and expecting things to happen without giving offerings. he did feel a response from occeair who was whom he latched onto but he didnt worship him right which is probably why he got that lack of response on his wishes.

 I’ve felt occeairs energy. It kinda feels laid back. Idk it’s hard to describe. Occeair does use Neptune’s imagery to talk to me though which I find strange. Something I have learned is that most gods of the genwa pantheon have both Male and female forms at least in how they communicate with me. But the gods are very real. I used to pray to Lise to help me with intrusive thoughts and it helped quite a bit. But yeah back to archery.

 After it I kind of felt like a sunny energy with me afterwards. Then as I went to the beach I felt the energy which I instantly identified as Helios in the sun. I went to the beach today. Or rather the lake. When I was typing this entry something told me to call the moon or rather talk to her. I at this point in time have frequent conversations with the sun. Not a solar deity the literal sun. It’s far from the least craziest thing I’ve done and certainly the least craziest thing I have done magickally. I feel like we have a relationship. It’s weird talking to something that doesn’t talk back. I personally hold to the belief that everything is alive to a degree. I know that sounds like crazy talk but it’s a form of belief that is fairly present in a lot of cultures and a few systems of magick. It’s not something I pulled out of my ass is what I’m trying to say and trust me when I say I’ve pulled a lot of shit magickally out of my ass. 

But yeah I once had a conversation with the moon and I said “if you have a God aspect or your brother the sun does feel free to reach out to me as it” and I felt like I was talking to Artemis as I was speaking with it. Then the next day Helios started reaching out. I really want a relationship with Helios just because I’d see it as an extension of my relationship with the sun. And I am drawn to solar entities. While not drawn to Helios specifically he has that Soler aspect I like quite a bit. Before you say anything yes I am aware of the Apollo Helios connection and I am also aware of the Apollo Abaddon connection. They are the same guy. I’m kinda nervous to call Abaddon tomorrow because of that crush on his Apollo aspect but I feel like I’ve read up on everything there is to the guy online only missing grimoires in his name. Which cost money. That I do not have.

 Speaking of money I finally have enough to get my Beelzebub tattoo. I’m gonna get it on my right hand as that is where he requested I get it. I’m a little worried getting it in such a visible request but hardly anyone recognized my eye of providence tattoo so I think it won’t matter as much as I think it will. Also I was talking to my mothers friend whom is a firefighter. I told him I changed my name to Oron. (Ah-ron or Ore-on) and he said referencing some movie “ah Orion the new god” he was referencing some.movie he saw lately. It apparently had a character named Orion (ore-ee-on) that was an angry new God or something. He told me he’d remember the new God Oron. Which was a joke but also a total fuking sign regarding my ascension. 

Also I’ve seen more bicycles lately. I figured out through my demonic evocations that ready as mentioned previous entires references ready for some kind of trial by fire so that’s fun. One thing I asked Lucifer when I evoked him was if my “Ritual of the Key” would work and he instructed me that it would. I also created a ritual to become time or acquainted with time that if successful I will tell you about after I perform it in a few days. In preperation I’ve been reading up on time.I already retrieved the hour glass for it. So that’s going to be fun. My intention with the ritual of time is to become a God of it or one with it.,.it will be an interesting experiment. That’s for damn sure. 

I don’t believe I was ever a god. As stated and showcased in this journal I suffer and have suffered delusions. That being said a lot of my operations tend to veer on the becoming more than human scale and their is a focus on that. Lately I’ve been so fed up with having spirits do all my work for me. Keep in mind I am bound by my right thumb to only use magick selflessly so I can’t go around cursing people (not that I would do that anyways) or just granting wish fulfillment fantasies with my magick. But I want to learn to do things myself. My alter Tagen made an agreement with the demon Orias I don’t want to talk about. All I know is I have to call Orias to rectify it as I’m already starting to see results from the bargain. 

I remember when I first got into magick, one of the things Azazel told me was “you have to end your agreements with them” then yelling at me for promising Belzebub control. “That was a very stupid thing to do” were his exact words I beleive. I finally feel like I’m at a point where with Azazels help I can end my agreements with several entities. I don’t want to. But according to Azazel I feel like he feels like it’s something I have to do. That being said I still want to wait till I have a better grip on Azazel and possibly have reaped some of the rewards from my previous bargains so I didn’t go through all the trouble I went through for nothing.

I also realized after my evocation with Lucifer, that I need a robe for my evocations since i am apparently still doing them wrong. Just because I can evoke anything doesn’t mean I should evoke anything and my astral senses are still not as honed as I would like for them to be. I would normally write down everything lucifer told me at this point but he asked I not write it down. I did bring him a list of questions however.


Latley somethings been on my mind. I want to approach Odin with the idea of being his student possibly in magick. I do need an magick instructor and found a spirit pushing me to buy a magickal book on norse mythology so i did that. I do need a magick tutor and while I do consider myself Lucifers student in many ways I have yet to fully learn from him. I was warned that when looking into Lucifer, that my life would be thrown into hell. Outside of going insane this has yet to happen. My life I guess in many ways was thrown into hell but only by me going insane which I doubt him the cause of. I’m just schizoaffective and I just need to be on medicine for it. That’s all. That’s not to say I wasn’t taught a few lessons by my demon pals when I was insane but it was traumatic the experience in more ways than you know. I still have flashbacks about it.

I recently did a friendship spell regarding Morgan. You know the guy who broke my heart that I mentioned earlier many times in past entries. It didn’t work. I did find after I did it, I had a dream about him and that I saw signs correlating to his name but that was about it. I found one spirit whom said “I can bring you back morgan” to which I responded at the time of this encounter which was almost a year ago at this point “that’s great, but I want you to wait until I have my life together first” I realize now that performing this spell was selfish in nature which is probably why it didn’t work. I don’t think it’s selfish to want friends. That was how I justified my cheating. But it is. Possibly. 

If only I could recall the spirit I made the bargain with. My memory is in shambles maybe reading past entries will help. Regardless. The deal I struck in order for this was that I would get a singing voice I desire out of it. I want to be a tenner. That’s all I particularly care about. Right now I’m an alto. I found it weird he asked for examples of what I wanted my voice to sound like but this is not the first time spirits have asked about samples or things of that nature. I’m thinking that when I talk to Orias I might ask him how to teach me to do it myself rather than relying on him to do it for me. I’m thinking this will take place over the course of several rituals. Which will be nice.

I’ve noticed the more I do magick in my house the more my sisters face changes. She was always kind of attractive but she’s now far more attractive. The kind of magick I do changes your face after time. I’ve noticed it in my mothers face and in my sisters face yet I have yet to see it in my own face. Though my face has changed. Just in different ways. Anyways its’ pretty late and I’m getting tired so that’s all for now.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 9/9/2019
  • 12:20 AM

Journals 126-128

Journal 126: Secret Garden ||| Empath P

“he said “oh mary contrary how does your garden grow, come with me and you’ll be the seventh maid in a row” my answer was laughter soft as I lowered my head “you’re too late I’m afraid this flower’s already dead” “ – Secret Garden.

For the record everyone in my family has a sixth sense. Myself included. My brother and mom while birth related have dreams of the future. I while not birth related have always had impulses and as a child where I just knew things. Gut feelings of the future. I know that sounds ridiculous but theirs a type of psychic that correlates to tis I just can’t place the name right now. I’ll bring it up later. Anyways I spent some of the night reading up on Odin as a part of my “preparatory emersion” for magick. Preparatory emersion is just kinda getting yourself in the mindset you need to be immersing yourself in the magick before hand. It’s great for evocation and ritual in general. I planned on looking up Lucifer too but after a conversation with several demons in my brothers homes do to reasons I quikly became exhausted I said goodbye and heard one of them ask “are we being dismissed” I was so tired I just went “yes” “well don’t I don’t do dismisses” “well goodbye” and thus slept.


I had an odd dream I want to tell you about.

In the dream I was following an in depth tutorial. I was in a black robe. I woke up in a field. I was in some sort of robe. I felt Odin but outside of visions I didnt see him. I looked around. A black raven was in front of me. He and I spoke. 

“Wheres Odin what is this place”

“A safe”A friend. Its safe” and then I was taken to my pushpops which are a type of dessert candy/icecream  my mom had bought the other day a man was breaking down the letters in the imagery of them and I woke up. The weird part is within the context of the dream I felt like I myself had feathers or something weird and I felt like I had been there before.

I turned on my phone having just woken up and one of my voice actors for my mythforce project asks me if he can apply for odin. I go grab pizza and cake and turn on the radio and “who lives, who dies, who tells your story” and “when you were young” plays which are both characteristic of my relationship with him.

I had a few things I’d rather not talk about on the brain something told me to go back to sleep but I know myself and I would have to be busy before being able to sleep again.

So that was fun.I also had freya nad frigs names in my head and I got the vibe that frig wanted me to call her.

“Your funny”

“Why?”

“Your easily fooled”

Also i awoke to this conversation between a spirit and I.

“Having multiple personalities is fun”

“It’s really not” 

And that was my morning. Fun.

  • 5:52 AM
  • 8/25/19

Journal 127: “I’m generally not afraid of my own madness” – BALG user Egodeathisflase

The title to this entry? Foreshadowing. I don’t sense I will go insane again in the near future but knowig my luck who knows. Anyways I have two different dreams to share with you today.

“I had a dream there was a game. A game where you could look like anything you desired. It changed your face in the real world. My X friend Morgan was there. I spent the whole game trying to find people who looked like me so I could just replicate my own face or get it as close to me as possible. I was playing the game when we did something illegal. And Morgan and I were sent to jail. I slipped him a pill and together we took pills that put us back in the game. Then we were taken to jail there. While the officer escorted us away he asked me which name I wanted “frig or atsushi” to which I responded “atsushi” then there was an option when being escorted by the guards for a scar and I picked one but it did old man makeup on me and I kind of looked like an idea of Odin. I tried to change back but got stuck. Then I got woken up.

After a second, in the prison setting I asked “is this prison?” “Yes but you get to look like anything you want” this is the second dream I’ve had where I’ve been jailed up Lately. Remind me to tell you about my thor mental asylum dream when I can.

I think its correlative to a magical endeavour I. Doing and may have to do with the fact that I googled both orias and Odin before going to bed.”

And in the second dream

“I my dream I was heavily related to Odin and darker. I had something important to tell him. I was hiding future prophecies in song and writing. I knew the prophecy but upon waking up forgot it. It was weird in the dream I considered us related. Like I considered myself his son. It was a dark energy of the thing. Then I woke up”

So those were my dreams. Something is telling me not to write the second one down but I will forget it if I don’t include it here. Lately I’ve written a lot about the african trickster spirit known as Anansi. He’s a main character on a fictional show I’m working on (mythforce) and much like Ronoveve who is also a main character on this show his name has been echoing in my head. Lately I’ve been reading up on Odin because I plan to evoke him. I get the vibe he’s asking me to evoke him. Since my introject of balder (kim) evoked him last (and before you ask I know that’s strange but I have trauma related to delusions of the man and kim was the manifestation of my mind in that regard) I haven’t really called him but I get the vibe he wants me to. In the same way Abadon wants me to and Lucifer wants me to. I have a lot and I do mean alot to discuss with Lucifer but meanwhile I know exactly why Abadon wants me to call him.

I used to have a crush on Apollo. A really bad crush and I was infatuated with him. What happened was i was in the hospital and I felt something strike me spiritually and suddenly I was head over heels in love with the guy. I don’t know what it was. Like someone cast a love spell or something. I can’t chalk it up to anything specific outside of what I’ve mentioned here. Abadon is in many ways to put it “apollos claws” as I have seen people say. He is an aspect of Apollo. He made the aspect happen that way. It’s strange. Just to be clear I’m still trying to get over my apollo crush. I have no idea what came over me and I have an idea of whom is responsible but overall it just irritates me. The crush is twined with hate for me, not towards Apollo or Abadon but at myself. Once I caught apollo when he was watching me because like I’ve said before I can sense when the gods are listening and we had a conversation.

It’s weird talking to a god. It doesn’t feel like talking to a normal spirit or even an angel. It feels divine. It’s hard to put into words. It’s sort of the been there done that thing. But basically the topic moved towards me and my past lives and apollo told me we had a past life together where I was close with him. Lately I’ve been thinking about it alot. Not in a romantic way more in a “ahh so this is why I’m so drawn to you now” sort of way. I still don’t worship anything. I kind of want to get a grapevine tattoo inspired by dionysus but like….yeah I’ve been tethering on worship with the guy and trust me when I say I really don’t want to go there. I’ve been taking a break from wearing my necklace dedicated to him. I just….yeah.

But yeah Apollo has made it clear to me via signs he really doesn’t like me that way. So the fact that I keep feeling struck by whatever everytime get over him causing me to keep thinking about him bothers me. It’s something akin to a love spell. I know so because I’m asexual. I don’t get crushes like this out of nowhere. I mean I do get them out of nowhere but I don’t get them in the way my feelings for him manifested and honestly it’s rather annoying. I blame cupid. Who did visit me or something divine claiming to be him visited me and took credit for it. So yeah. I’m frustrated. Not just romantically but as an individual. It’s upsetting.

Cupid has a weird energy. It’s very nice but he is kind of a dick so like. I like cupid but I also hate cupid. My experiences with the god are mixed. Watch Abadon read this and then go “nobody cast a spell on you its in your mind” or some bullshit like that. See right now as I’m typing this I’m overcome with this lovey dovey feeling I just don’t get, let alone with strangers I hardly know. The stranger in this case being Apollo. Also while I type this in starbucks a breakup song “I forgot” by clara mae is playing. Now I get the vibe that Baritaste the Genwa god of sex of all people wants me to call him. I have a love hate relationship with Bairtaste too. Bairtaste and Cupid have very similar energies actually. But it’s against genwa rules to associate them with other gods even though shortly after communing with Yena the Genwa goddess of earth who is the earth personified I was pointed in the direction of the titaness Gaia. You should try genwa. It’s cool.

www.genwareligion.com 


Also despite whatever the fuck baritastes rules say, he can totally do love. He’s set me and my wife up on dates before. He made her like me after I vented to him about her not epecting him to take any action. Then she started wearing makeup after she met somebody she liked alot. And i”m like Baritaste you bro. For the record despite my feelings towards her, my wife and I are not romantically together. We’re just very close hence the terminology. Back when I worshiped him before returning to the left handed path I found myself pushed to grow my hair and wear makeup. Not become a girl mind you. But he wanted me to do those things. Long hair in genwa is important. I’m not sure why. I channeled something I never made public about it tying you to nature or some shit a while ago. I don’t know. I think theirs a spiritual reason for the gods doing it that I’m currently unaware.

But yeah. Now Bairtaste wants me to call him and I can feel him in the room as I type this. UGH IM SO PISSED. AT MYSELF BUT ALSO AT THE ATTRACTION I FEEL. FUCKING HELL.

  • Acrians Locket

8/27/19

4:00 PM

Journal 128: “You’re just in time for the end of the world!” – Peridot, Steven Universe

What happens when we die. Well every human being is made up of a spark. This spark is your soul or you essence or whatever junk you want to call it. We reincarnate. In each life there are certain lessons that we need to learn. When we die the soul this spark it sheds the skin of our person. This skin so to speak is you. Everything about you. What makes you you. Your personality and your likes and dislikes. This “skin” sorry I cant think of a better word, then goes on among the stars to its chosen afterlife or planets or whatever. You acsend or go on to do cool shit. Then the spark itself with some residual energy from who you were, continues onwards going back into the universe. There it goes on to learn new lessons whatever they may be. This spark then goes into like a tree, or another human or a fish or something. Everything is alive to an extent. And all that residual energy goes back into the universe. That’s reincarnation baby. I learned this through research and exploration. But I’m a mad potato so maybe don’t listen to me if you don’t like my general journal or my grimoures/work.

I’m starting a spiritual YouTube channel. It’s been a long time coming. I’m probably going to wait until I’m on testosterone to formally post something but the first post is most likely going to be called “a debunking of crossroads magic/sellingyoursoul” kind of like a debunking of selling your soul and then pointers in the proper direction for the rightful ritual of the crossroads to obtain a skill and other things like that. Click bait works. Speaking of the crossroads I still have to practise guitar. One of my spirits attached himself to it with my permission and since then I find guitar comes much easier and picks me up when I’m deprseed. The key to fighting any sort of depression is to fight it by staying busy. It’s hard as fuck but it brings you out of it. Regarding hte crossroads I haven’t heard from the black man in ages but it’s been a while.

I have a spirit I’m working with to help me rid imposter entities in my home. Ever since Marbas cut me off a while ago I haven’t talked to him but lately his name has been echoing in my head as well as Gaap’s. I would like to reiterate as a beginner I did not know what I was doing. I entered into a lot of rookie bargains and made a lot of mistakes I’d really rather not get into. The demons always honored their end but to pretend my spiritual reputation was not hurt by my naivety or that I wasn’t screwed over in some of thesse bargains would be an idiot mistake.

Latley whenever I read up on Lucifer entities are drawn to me. This has kept me from calling or researching him proper as of late. For some strange reason I have a couple of spirits whom call me his name. It’s very strange. My alter Izekiel was out a while ago and he was directing the spirits and they called him by his title. I was like “bro while I’ve done it before with other spirits I am not wearing lucifers shoes or doing anything remote to him that would mix us up. I never fused or bothered with him in this regard. Yet I’m being addressed as him. Wtf.” which is odd. I’ve found implanted in me a spiritual desire to fuse. This was a desire instilled in me by spirits I work with. It’s weird. It’s kind of like wanting to be a demon. That has never occurred to me. That has never been something in my entire life I craved yet after working with these entities for a long period of time I find it is something they made me want. Now, why this is I couldn’t tell you. But then again theres a lot I can’t tell you. 

I have seen things I’ve never even bothered to write down. I have been places spiritually and on earth that you just can’t fathom to imagine. I’ve seen things that I don’t have the words to explain to you, I have been shown things that I was told I would never understand that haven’t been mentioned here.

I’m just trying to say you my precious journal are not always in the know and I am out doing shit even if these entires as of late have been a little devoid. While i’ts tempting to go back I’m very glad I quite popculture magick. I started following that magick blog I hate just for the fun of it to see their perspective. Latley my self esteem and sex drive have both skyrocketed. I defend myself now, and don’t do the bullshit thing as often as I used to. I am negative and in my personal diary which I have started keeping I cut myself down sometimes but overall I’ve been better.

“ I see a change in you “

Spirits have mentioned this often. Seeing a change in me. But outside of changes to my main personality in some regard I hardly notice. I’m still me. But different. Lately it’s come to my attention that an old god has attached himself to Abgonn. I was talking to Odin earlier today and I asked him about my aspects of Ayrin. He told me that he was not familiar with the book but that he knew of it. I asked him further on the matter and he told me that theirs alot more to creating an aspect than just imaging yourself different to which I acknowledged that he was correct. He told me he wanted to talk to me about Balder to which I clarified I was sorry about that. He then wanted to know about “my plans to save the world“ to which I said, the world is going to end, not soon but it will. Not in my lifetime but in several centuries. Then in order for it to be saved, it will need teams of people and teams of gods far more than one person alone could do. Their would be no point on me focusing on it, which is not something I said to him but something I think in retrospect. Then he said, if I achieved my goal of immortality I could still be here to save it to which I responded “I chose the goal of immortality because I don’t actually want to find what I’m looking for, I just want to go on an adventure” he then asked me to tell him about any delusions I had about ragnarok so theres that.


Spirits see value in my delusions. As covered in the beginning of this book Odin himself is hands on.  He’s always been able to see through my delusions and make sense of them for reasons. Insane people as stated at the beginning of this book are tapping into something but again as stated at the beginning of this book around the entry 30’s I don’t see value in this something. One of the few times I’ve talked to Artemis she told me that she didn’t think I was insane, she told me she thought I was giving out a lot of future predictions and that I was misled. Which yeah. I was paranoid about time itself cracking. But of course. I was tapping into “something” that I’ll give you but I was so incoherent whatever I was tapping into was garbled in the madness. I’m sure people online have bored witness to it.

Anyways I plan on performing the ritual of the key. This ritual is untested as stated at the beginning of the book and a warning from my psychic ass. If you try to replicate any of the rituals I’ve given you and you face consequences because it is as stated UNTESTED MAGICK please don’t go bitching about it. You chose to make that risk. Not me. At this point I would like to remind you that I also post ever entry of this journal to my blog secretlocket on wordpress as well as some entires to “balg” forum. I really am  fond of the balg forum. I’m at a point where I can discern the misinformation when I see it. I think I’m advanced enough for that. I’m far from an expert but to quote one of my spirits “you’re intermediate”. I really do think that venom helped. Be careful of any spirit that wants to give you it’s mark or venom especially if you haven’t worked with the thing for a long time. The same applies to spiritual marriage. If you get a spiritual proposal out of nowhere run.

Lately sometimes when I close my eyes I see sigils. I’ve seen Lucifers and Belials so far. It was strange once I saw Eligos’. Who uses a female form with me by the way. Why she does this I don’t know but she does. Spirits see gender and sexulaity far different from us. I’ll tell you that much. They don’t see gender the way we do. Not even remotely so keep that in mind.

Lately my mom bought herself some flowers, roses to be exact which are a sign of the god Bairtaste from the Genwa pantheon. Bairtaste’s sigil is actually a rose. I got the vibe he wanted me to give him an offering and then I got the vibe it was to wear makeup. I lit an entire insense stick for him and decided I would do the makeup thing later. I just got the vibe he was asking for one. Baritaste is a very flamboyant entity. He’s fun and playful but also overtly sexual in alot of his jokes and flirtation. He has a kind of smooth energy, that feels kind of like a ruby lust. It’s odd. He’s quite similar to cupid as stated multiple times in this but despite previous connections when I pressed Cupid about it he told me “who’s bairtaste” to which I responded, “oh nevermind than” so I guess they aren’t the same person they just feel awfully similar. Cupid is like Bairtaste turned up to 11. Speaking of Eros has been on my mind and Pan straight up reached out. Same with Venus after I talked to Bairtaste.

I was at the coffee shop and I overheard a girl say quite loudly “yeah well I’ just thought I’d reach out” and then a girl with a bright pink shirt reading “PAN” walked past me and I knew it him. This is not the first time the man has reached out which is how I know this is not a fluke. I get the right handed path thing. I really do. I didn’t for a long time but given certain trials I’ve faced as apart of my journey on the left handed path like I get it. Some people just want to be below something and honestly theirs nothing wrong with that.

My issue is trying to work with gods without worshiping them. I’m really keen to establish a relationship with Odin. On the topic of which while he doesn’t have a place on it not by a long shot, I’ve established an altar. It’s my old nightstand. In the droor is ritual supplies, on the counter is offerings. In the stand theres a place for all my spiritual books and my tarot cards. It’s quaint and neat. I like it alot. I wish I had a proper alter but it will do for now. I now have nowhere to put my things but my alter found it necessary. Bairtaste made it very clear to me that he wants me to worship him and get a necklace in devotion to him. Similarly to the one I have dedicated to Dionysus. Who has paid me attention lately which is nice.

I’m still having a hard time establishing relationsihps with gods and the like but I figured I may as well.

Spiritual to do list:

Meditate on Hermes’s photo and ask what he meant by “kin someone in the pantheon”

Buy that Artemis poster to hang on wall.

Establish a connection with Apollo.

Go to spiritual shop, and buy several white candles and an extra red one.


Get hands on, amethyst, Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Chrysocolla, Serpentine, Blood Stone

Purchase key necklace

Call Abadon

Call Odin

Call Lucifer


Read up on lucifer

Perform the ritual of time (self created)

Acquire a hammer for the ritual of time


Perform shapeshifting ritual (self created)

[the self created rituals are not shared until tested]

Gather, clear nail polish, black tea powder, black food die, sandlewood oil, jasmine oil, bergamot oil, ginger oil, rice paper and the mars symbol. (for masuclinty nail polish, self created)

Paint Box for self change ritual (self created)

Ritual to call a friend (self created later share)

DO ALL THIS YOU LAZYBONES

So yeah that’s all for now!

  • Acrians Locket
  •  8:12 PM
  •  8/28/19

Journal 125: Red Flag Valentine ||| Hi I’m Case

So baritaste who is the god of sex in the genwa religion recently accused me of worshipping dionysus. The nerve. Bairtaste made it clear to me he was jealous of Dionysus and the attention I’ve been giving him. I don’t worship Dionysus. I don’t even work with the guy the most I’ve done with him is leave out 1 offering and have a necklace to establish a connection with him. That’s it. I barley know the guy and since relenting on the name, I haven’t really done anything regarding him. I need a new name. Adam just isn’t working for me. I think the worst part of changing my name is going to be finding something unique that vibes with the last name “Snowflake”. Names hold power so when searching for this information and on the topic of changing it I’m going to keep this in mind. One of my imposter entities can lie about it signature latley I kicked all of my spirits out. I am done with them. I’m also at a point where I’m starting to question GENWA and its essence. Occeair has proven to me that he is real. Several times  but he has recently made it clear to me that he as a god, is not fond of being called up whenever I feel like it and that he will talk to me, but on his terms not mine. I think Occeair and I fight alot. As well as Baritaste and myself. I don’t get along with some of the genwa gods. Lately I just feel lost in my magickal path. I don’t know where I’m going and I’ve strayed from where I’ve been. I promised not to use magick selfishly for about 3 years in exchange for getting a proper voice on testosterone so tat’s no fun. I’ve created several rituals which I got help with from entities so I can’t share them with you. One of which is a ritual to literally become time. I created a pop culture test for a demon I work with that he is going to tweak and hone and possibly use. So yeah. That’s what’s been happening. Theirs stuff I’ve been going trough that I can’t quite share with you here. I really wish I could. I’ve experimented with the right handed path and despite going to church tomorrow as a promise to archangel michael in exchange for him helping me out with parasites, I can’t really say much.

I went to the magick store recently and I acquired a bloodstone, several red candles enough for the operation and insense. Now I need to go again to get proper evocation candles. I still need to read up on lucifer. I find whenever I open a spiritual book of any sort, spirits are drawn to me. I really like lucifuge but I have no idea where we stand. I still need to find a forets that hosts berries do to this thing with belzebub/belial. Whom while in different aspects are the same guy as they both have reminded me over and over again. Lucifer I think? It may have been, told me that multiple aspects of the same entities were reaching out to me so I could fully get to know the spirits at hand,

I’m finally at a point where I’m comfortable saying there are plans for me. Whom these plans belong to is my own personal business. But if you want some insight please check out my folded dreamer album when it comes out, which I’m currently working on. My music has been on a long enough break and I feel like I’m at a point where I should start working on it again. 

I kind of have been reflecting on my previous agreements wit entities and several times I have gone “wow I was an idiot and they saw an opportunity and took it” regarding the demons I work with. Basically I’ve been screwed several times. I think this is just apart of the growing process for me. My demons have mentioned to me that I’ve changed. I certainly have. I’m not having delusions or claiming I’m a god anymore. I’m not evoking pop culture spirits or comuning wit fictional characters. I’m not mad. I like to think in many ways I’ve grown. How exactly I can’t place. But I have. I mean. I’m still naive. I’ve been very naive since day one. But I’m less immature than I used to be and I’m letting my guards down as time progresses.

I still get the vibe that odin wants me to evoke him. I plan on doing this he and frig as well as freya showed up last time I evoked him. I tink it’s important. I need to start leaving offerings out for lucifer again. I recently had a birthday cake. The ceremony of the birthday in my culture is a simple one. You get a cake with a number of candles or a candle representing the age you have turned. These candles are placed on the cake. Then your family sings the song “happy birthday” around you sometimes in the dark as you blow out the candle(s) and make a wish. That’s magick. You can’t convince me that, that is not inherently a ritual. It’s extremely common place in my culture as well as several others this century. That’s candle magick to be specific. 

Candle magick is super easy magick. Often used to petition a spirit or make a change happen. It’s some of the easiest stuff you can learn honestly. Learning to dress a candle is easy and I honestly should pick up some more.

Since doing that solomonic bath as a part of my ritual bath the other day, I noticed that god has been reaching out. The big kahoona sending me signs the same way other gods do. I rarley leave the house so I normally see signs in a couple ways. Through social media, through the physical world when I do leave it, and through almost divine intervention like positioning of animals. The last one is hard to get into and I’m not going to really touch on it but I will say that god has been sending me signs since the christan ritualistic bath. I guess the big guy isn’t so bad after all. Hes grown on me sometime. I’ll say that.

  • Acriians Locket
  • 8/24/19
  • 11:54 PM

Journal 124: Know One ||| Andy Black

‘Why shoudn’t I write things down?”

“I don’t care if you write things down”

“Is this belzebub or belial”

“It doesn’t matter we’re the same person”

I ajusted myself in the seat.

“Do I have a spiritual reputation?”

“You do”

“What is it?”

“A laughing stalk a fool, an insane madman”

“Is the aspects of ayrin real”

“You see this is why you’re a luaghing stock”

[car engine roars]

“Is that you?”

“I’ve stopped talking to you through the car engine. I know you don’t like it”

“So what is an aspect?”

“Given how far you are in this project you should know”

“I do. I want to hear your take on it”

“So you know what it is but you want my opinion?”

“Yes”

“A presentation. How your seen. That’s it”

Some of this has been paraphrased for memory loss purposes.

I called Beelzebub today. It was made clear to me he wants the sigil on the back of my hand which is a shame because that’s where I plan on getting my flower tattoo based off the anime Rokka no yuusha. Two things have become clear to me. 1 a lot of the lowa I was working with were imposters entities which I’ve known for quite sometime but failed to address here. And 2) Vodou just isn’t for me. For the record I spell it vodou, voodou, and voodoo all within this journal. I was reading up on some of it and it’s a direction I’ve been pushed in that just isn’t for me. It’s not my path. It’s an intriguing one that I’ll be sure to continue studying but its just not mine.

 Hoodoo on the other hand is still fair game as is catholic folk magick which I’ll be sure to study as well. I’ve been taking a huge break magickally I feel. For a whole barley any reading, no evocations for a couple months now and more. With the only entries being barley audible conversation and daydream trials as I like to call them. 

I’ve given up on  pop culture magick. The more I take magick seriously the less right of a path it seems. Don’t get me wrong its real. Sure you can’t go evoking superman but you can channel a lot of concepts via avatar the last airbender. Everything in a pop culture system needs some kind of real world equivalent to it. Otherwise you really are just living an escapist fantasy through it. My whole defense for pop culture magick was “everything was modern to its culture at its point of conception, and everything once had some kind of stake. Taking this the extra step and learning mechanics through systems like these is actually an amazing learning and to quote though paraphrase a friend. Whatever keeps people interested in magick” but the more I get serious about this the less I’m able to do it.

I just don’t see the value in it anymore. For along time I was living an escapist fantasy with my magick and I don’t know how I fell into that trap in the first place. Probably through my insanity. But I’m past that now and I’m getting back to the basics continuing to make progress. I took a ritual bath today. Spirits were taunting me throughout the process telling me I was doing it wrong. I still have a parasite problem that just won’t go away no matter how much spiritual fire I throw at it. Sometimes literal. In the bath I felt a holy energy within the room. I felt this same energy at synagogue several times prior. I felt god watching me in a sense. I notice that. When divinity is watching me. I can feel it. I normally tune it out but I can sense it.

This applies to the islamic god and the christian god as well they’re not exempt. The way my muslim friend explained it to me was that you can’t worship othergods cus allah would get jelous. Allah and Elohim feel very different to me but Allah has a way nicer energy and he feels more casual and comforting then the cold serious energy of elohim. I’ve never talked to, but certainly felt both. Also I felt like god was judging me while I was saying the prayers but you know.

I contradict myself a lot in this book. What is truth and what is fabrication I fear is something you will have to make of yourself via your own experiments and experience. Or notes like I told you to take at the beginning. I was still commissioned by Hermes of all people to write a story on the greek apocalypse. He said he’d help with my memory if I did. I’m unsure if it was really hermes who showed up in retrospect but given I had a whole night shortly after where I just embodied him, felt I was him, felt as him out of nowhere shortly after I see no reason to doubt this. The greek gods have taken note of me and I do have experiences that I have not written here and refuse to write here out of respect for their privacy.

Let’s just say I know I learned my lesson and we’ll leave the story hopping if you know what I’m referring to, to the gods. Mythforce was not pulled out of my ass and that’s all I say on the matter. Speaking of myth force I finally found an actor to play Anansi and he’s not white! Ah perfect now we get to keep him in the story.

Back the aspect thing though I mentioned it to Belzebub and he said I should be keeping it private. He said the reason being is that releasing it could give people ways to summon me, evoke me, and control me. He said it was a foolish thing to keep it public. I’m debating it now.

I recently went to the makeup store and with Bairtaste on the brain I bought makeup. Or rather makeup brushes. I have them just sitting there. I kind of promised Bairtaste who is the god of sex and makeup that I’d wear it after I went on T and my apointment is sceduled for the 27th. God I just hope this works out. I asked about the music competition that I’ve mentioned here and there which is tomorrow via my workings with Belzebub and he explained to me that he arranged it and was glad I noticed. I don’t really expect to win but I think it will be fun.

I’m gona wear my moms mojo hand when I go which reminds me that we have to feed him today. Anyways one more thing. I asked about ready for what regarding him and he said “at this point you should already know” and I said “I don’t because nobody bothered to explain it to me” to which he clerified it wasn’t ready for ascension but some sort of trial as he put it. Next time I’m going to have questions prepared can’t say I’ll do the ritual bath again but I need to get insense and the like. Maybe I’ll do that today.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 4:14 PM
  • 8/12/19

Journals 121-123

Journal 121: Lost One’s Weeping ||| Vocaloid

“Take the following since the objects of action most likely won’t be available. A small leather bracelet. A white tattered blanket. A vest. A camera. And a cape. Bring them all within a room with other objects and several misnomers. If the child goes for each they are the reincarnation.” – From a personal project I am not going to reveal here. Ideally overtime within each reincarnation being discovered you would take one object per death or the reincarnation and replace it. Vest would be my object. That is how you would find my spark. Of course I am hardly a divine being so finding me would be pointless. It’s not as though I am anyone important. But I was watching avatar the last airbender and it occurred to me. How you would find my reincarnation should such a thing be of matters. You could then further test this by placing several drinks in front of the child. Green Tea, Cocacola, Cofee and something not mentioned here. Then ask the child to rank the drinks based on taste. Not how much they liked them. Rank them differently based on familiarity or something of the sort. Then lastly check the childs two favorite numbers which again should not be written here.

———————————

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Abgonn: im not odin if tats what your thinking

M: what im thinking is your an old spirit using abgonn as a mask

Abgonn:your quite right

M: dont hes mine

Abgonn: and what of the other aspects are they too not masks for other spirits connected heavily through you. Your certainly not hopper thats for dam sure

M: they are parts of my personality personified

Abgonn: you may believe that but that is not what is happening here. Not even remotely. Whats happening is a resurgence of divinity started through you. Im afraid thats the truth. I am apart of this resurgence and i came to you as abgonn hoping we could be friends

M: im just upset cus i don see you as how i envisioned him and your not fulfilling his role

A: and what spirit would be more appropriate. Odin. tote, yourself

M: why are you so condescending

A: im not condescending i’m curious i know your a good person sorry for testing you on that

M: why are you like this

A: im sure your joking but the answer is beyond you and not one you could ever fully know.

M: ok

A: i know you know how divinity works im suprised your still saying your not of it

M: ive crashed back down to reality

A: tell me are the ones in the mirrors friend or foe

M: depends on the reflection

A: and those in your book. Friend or foe

M: depends

A: and in not every aspect do you consider yourself friends to all you meet

M: it doesn’t work that way

A: forget it. Your to young and naive to understand

M: you’re right and you’re old and wise so why don’t you bother to at least try to explain it to me rather than brushing me off cus ignorance is far from bliss ill tell you that

A: well for starters the gods were never human

M: i know that.

A: and we don’t reincarnate. We really are born divine

M: seriously?

A: yes but that was not what you were expecting me to say nor hoping me to confirm

M: then how does it work

A: it doesn’t. It just is.

M; and you expect me to believe that

A: i expect you to believe a lot of things your naive

M: and your cruel

A: in what ways am i cruel

A: you have done nothing but cut me down since i have known you

A: adam im just trying to understand. And i see you’ve changed your name again.

M: i thought i had permission to take his name i did not

A: actually you did. I’ve looked at the memory of yours and you did have permission that wasn’t a farce

M: how do i know tho

A: ask him to verify it to you, your close.

M: were really not

A: but you want to be close with dionysus

M: i have a squish

A: a friend crush?

M: yes

A: i know that word because i keep my eye on you. We all have. You really think your ready for divinity. To join a pantheon or make one on your own

M: do you?

A: it doesn’t matter what i think. What matters is whats in the hands of the magician

M: where are you from

A: africa

M: realy

A: well im not from the west. I could name the country but you wouldn’t understand it and it would become gibberish in that mind of yours

M: interesting

A: well you did envision me as Black and that was not a mistake

M: okay so are you an old spirit latched on to my aspect

A: something of the sort but not exactly. Theirs pieces to the puzzle your missing and that are not what you assume.

M: what

A: you need to solve this puzzle and I’m here to help you

M: why are you so kind to me

A: im kind to everyone i meet we share that in common

M: so your an African spirit

A: im a spirit who was worshiped in Africa if that is what you are asking

M: okay

A: and i am you. Part of you. We reincarnated together so to speak. Im an aspect and that means i share you. With the others too. I expect you to become me when you die

M: do i have to become one of my aspects

A; fusion total fusion i expect you to become one of us and I expect to be favored on that list

M: so your not a figment of my imagination

A: that may have been your intention but channeling is more accurate. Im you. Im your aspect. But im not solely you nor did i originate from your mind. I exist beyond you. Im your vessel in a lot of ways but i wasn’t always nor will i always continue to be

m: so you’re an old god?

A: exactly.

M: then why manifest as one of my aspects

A: i was bored you seemed fitting and i admire you

M: is that right?

A: dont pleasure yourself on the idea. I meant to say i respect you and i see potential in a fusion or aspect or whatever you may concern yourself with you. This is not a game and it seems thanks to me you’re finally seeing that. You want some advice, keep writing about the aspects and refer the aspects of ayrin on that forum of yours. They’re not just you. But they are heavily tied to you hence the name

M i would love to consider this but i have to go i have to use the restroom

A: i have all the time in the world. I will be here when you get back

M: ok brb

A: welcome back

M: okay so as abgonn your job is to reveal secrets and keep them

A: that was how i was “channeled” yes

M: what did you back in the day

A: far more than your imagination

M: well the entries are meant to be a sort of brief bio their not supposed to be everything you go off of

A: someone is evoking your spirit court I’d be very careful who you mention online

A: yes you have my permission to mention me.

M: okay so will the book of ayrin be a laughing stalk

A: no but it does hold secrets im not fond of being revealed

M: like what its not even finished

A: you’ll see when it comes out. Their will be news of it in the spirit world. The spirit world and astral are not the same place as you’ve been led to believe. Neither is the fae realm. Its all very different

M: so if i do the ritual of the key i wont gain anything

A: well il oblige but im not handing you the knowledge i worked so hard for over nothing. You have to work for it and pay me for my attention

M: what do you want

A: you have folllowers adam. I dont think you notice but you do. Those prayers you keep hearing in your head they are not a delusion people really are praying to you elsewhere

M: under this face

A: no but under others and i think you know how to help. Being a god is a responsibility and regardless of whether or not you are, you have to become ready for it. Its an order

M: i dont do orders

A: no but you do listen to me and others ive paid attention. When people call you out you listen.

M: true

A: that planet you created in our world. Whats it called

M: i cant recall i have a terrible memory

A: but if you saw it on the astral or otherwise youd beleive it

M: beleive what

A: that you really created it. Adam theirs more going on here than what you are aware. That gift to thor exists. Maybe not yet but it will. Im sure he can wait a thousand years.

M: so what your telling me i m not crazy

A: you have mental problems sure. Yes i’d agree with that. But your spiritual activities are hardly delusions and i do expect you to post this because i am far from the only one who thinks so. Stop worrying about what other people think. This genwa thing you started its just the stepping stone. Occeair sent that storm before you ask.

M: i appreiciate it but i have to go my wrist hurts from typing

A: i understand but this conversation isnt over. Im opening up to you so i expect you to do the same.

M: i got it

A: and before you ask your soul is not ugly. Its average. Gorges in some regards. Its pretty. You should keep it nude.

M: but 

A: adam i know you dont know what it looks like but trust me it is far from a monster like you envision. Its pretty. I mean that platonicly

M: yeah i get it

A: may i have some of it when I merge with you

M: i dont plan on merging with you

A: i see so your self loathing extends to me now

M: you just remind me of some parts of myself i dont like but i do enjoy our conversations and i like you i just am insecure

A: then how about i change it

M: no be yourself

A: ill try to be more like the abgonn you imagine

M: id rather you just be yourself and i mean that part of getting over my self loathing means accepting all of me and your great practice

A: i see so you can stand me

M: some of its annoying but i just find you condescending

A: hahah maybe i am. Post this to that forum, ill be in touch

M: alright bye

A: never worship yourself thats rule number one

M: i wasnt going to ask

A: keep that in mind. Goodbye.

M: bye

Odin wants me to call him. So does Lucifer. Hoepfully I’ll get proper candles and a meditative state after this.

  • Acrians Locket

8/15/19

5:48 PM

Journal 122: “I think you shouldn’t credit it to mental illness when it’s a spiritual problem” -spirit

But I mean….despite the title….aren’t the lines blurred enough anyways?

I sat in the shower. I saw before me my running water. My hand began to move towards my face. I saw nothing but the shower before me this time but I knew what was occurring. I took it to my face. Yellow. Or golden rock. I saw several blue guards holding spears to my sides. A spirit in the guise of a former friend spoke up. “Do you know where you are?” “No” “what do you see” “just gold” a female spirit approached me. “This is home” “no its not” “earth is your home now. But it won’t always be.” She asked me to go there when I die. I told them everything. About the prince sleep incident and of a few other past lives. She said “your right this is not your home. But we welcome you” “we are not bird people. We are not gods. We are mortal men” zenhale or something like that was her name.”promise me when you get a grip on them you’ll Visit. We do not communicate through telepathy but we can hear your thoughts on the astral” “do the little people have anything to say about me” I paused. “They just said I need a mother.” “Did they comment on my race” “no.” (Frosty) “but if theirs a racial slur I know they’ll say it” “I see and what do you think of giants” “I think this isnt my home” “no but we welcome you and we decide who comes in and who goes” (I let people paint me however they want. That’s why I have a weird reputation) “we would not villanize you here or kill you like some people” and then she instructed me to write this all down and I left the shower.

-acrians locket

-Date unknown 2019

Journal 123: “I think regardless of whether or not you realize it Occeair is a part of you and it’s about time you acknowledge it” -spirit

“Read the conjure codex. It has the answer you are looking for” – Lucifer on proper evocation

So I’ve been reading up on Lucifer lately. Or At Least I have been today and I plan to start to. I need to find myself a proper evocation method. I read the conjure codex as suggested and low and behold to my surprise it had a section on proper demonic evocation. It has been a while since I picked up a magickal grimoire my attention span hasn’t been worth it and my mental health as of late has been in shambles thus this has been hard to achieve.

Start by fasting the whole day then take a ritual bath that features Hyssop Soap. This should be a whole ordeal itself that I’m not gona cover here. The evocation should be done on the planetary day of the spirit. Then anoint yourself with the oil of abramelin. Though I can imagine you using other oils here though Abremilins the best, but I can see you doing other oils here depending on the operation. Then the area you do the evocation in should be only lit by candles. I engrave upon my candles the elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water and also lick them to form a bond. It’s really strange but I personally enjoy licking my items in order to form a bond with them. I use to have a staff when I was insane and I would lick it frequently and until it broke I felt a strong connection with it. The insense in the ritual should be of the proper day. Then set the circle. I prefer to use the one E.A koetting outlined though mine is created from chalk and less bloody. I need something temporary but I find the inscriptions work especially with my knowledge of hebrew which comes in handy here. The circle here is not to “protect” you from the spirits but rather its kind of here as a part of the operation. It’s to center you within not only the right but the universe. Within the magickal setting to set you amongst the world in a sense. Your clothes for the evocation need to be clean. Something white and preferably new. Some clothes that you take care of and only use or wear for such operations. That’s my idea. Based on what’s written anyways. Additionally having a book to hold or a wand for the operation makes sense. That’s what;s outlined with some additional ideas from me in the Conjure Codex regarding how to perform an evocation.

I’ll cite my source here:

Cecchetelli, Mike. Modern Grimoiric Evocation. Hadean.

It’s a really good grimoire I suggest checking out. It was my inspiration for creating a garden at 22. I say garden but really it’s just my pedaless plant lilly and I right now but we’re getting there rest assured. Lilly is also not a lilly but rather a rose hybrid. I notice the spirit of the flower when I visit her. It manifests like a fae like creature to me. It’s hard to put into words. Her soul looks like a naked humanoid covered in green and leaves towards her head which resembles a mix of a cat and a human. Her eyes are beady and her face is like a fur humanoid animal. It’s all very strange and she has more in common with looking like a fantasy drawing than a furry or a humanoid but she’s gorges. Lately her pedals have come off which is saddening. It wasn’t my mother clipping it as I had been led to believe but rather the weather. Recently I showcased my true soul’s colors in front of Abgonn and he told me it was pretty. I told about the face delusion that I had in my daydreams and real life that my spiritual face kept changing depending on the environment. He told me it wasn’t a delusion but that normal people wouldn’t pick on it.

My almost boyfriend karkles told me that my trueface looked like myself but taller and thinner. Anthony from the hospital the only sane one you know who claimed to be Osirus he told met that it looked “lonely” when I asked what it looked like. He was right. I am incredibly lonely. But still.

Lately Abaddon has been reaching out. This no doubt has to do with my infatuation with Apollo that I can’t seem to get over and I’m embarrassed to approach him. But he’s been persistent with his name echoing in my head constantly trying to get my attention. When Lucifer visited me earlier today not only was I surprised to see that he told me he had read my journal but he asked why promise Belzebub a tattoo to which I hastily responded a half truth of “I just really wanted a spiritual tattoo and he was down for it” which is true but not the full story. When it comes to my spiritual workings with Belzbub specifically they are fairly in depth and not mentioned much here. He doesn’t like me to write things down let alone about him so I keep you out of the loop. Lucifer expressed to me he would like me not to write certain things down as well but he knew I was going to. He told me I had to learn about the importance of keeping secrets which I like to think I’ve been better about it lately. I did forget to ask him about my aspects but we’ll see. I’m going to read up on him for a few days acquire the soap then acquire the candles and evoke him, then odin, than abaddon in presumably that order. I have most days to myself so it shouldn’t be an issue but I keep getting the vibe from Odin that he wants me to evoke him. I get very playful around Odin and I’m not a fan of it.

Some spirits have this effect on me. Where I become incredibly playful surrounded by them. Every time I meet an aspect of myself they request to fuse with me. I’m still unsure what I have unlocked with the aspects of ayrin. Theirs clearly more going on here than old gods attaching themselves via channelings and also not enough to be discussed of parts of my heart fractured. It’s a very strange experiment I’m unsure if I’ve discussed with you but one that is topical nevertheless.

I’m scheduled for my first testosterone appointment on the 27th it is far more expensive than imagined but it will do. I still have to talk to Orias about looking more like what I want to look like rather than what my alter promised him since Tagen and my alters do to medication are no longer in the picture. But that I fear is an issue for another day. 

That’s all for now.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 8/20/19

Journal 120:”To be honest life’s too short to be embarrassed by little things? Wear that outfit your mom said was ugly & laugh your natural too loud laugh & talk to intimidating people you find interesting ! Join cringy clubs & read books everyone hates & wear too much eyeliner! If shit doesn’t work out who cares! People who are worth being around will stick by you anyway!” tumblr user -garageband-bitch

Lately I’ve been living in an escapist fantasy with my magick. This is a sad but true realization. I was pushed on the right handed path and I abided. I was pushed into skepticism and I abided. I was pushed into voodou and I abided. I just want my magickal path to be my own you know. Honestly enough of all these spirits seeing me as their plaything and doing shit wrong. I’m just tired. I’m just so tired. Maybe it’s my depression talking but I am. I’m done with pop culture magick. I was rereading some entries as I’m currently forming the revised edition of my journal and it was incredibly embarrassing. Delusions here, idiocy there. God I really come across as a novice don’t I? Well regardless it’s time to stop playing around because I can only take the humility so much.

I recently found my copy of “The Book of the sacred magic of abramelin the mage” and I honestly forgot how well written the book was. Also, like I said I redid my mojo hand. While I’m greedy and it works and while I was sad to see it go I was re-reading my journal about how I promised to use magick selflessly so I gave the hand to my mom as planned. I had to know it was working cus the first time around it was missing something. My mother smelt it and was repulsed. I filed it with coins, objects symbolizing wealth and luck and pictures, spices fed it wine and gave it to her. I don’t know if she belives in all of this but she truly discredits me enough to believe that I can’t even do tarot right on the basis of my personality alone.

I’ve created a ritual to enchant a necklace that I think I’ll share with you.

“Draw a mat for the necklace. this can be done on paper or more preferably on some sort of  large cloth. The cloth should be red with the symbols in gold. Painted or drawn. In the middle of the triangle place within it cinemen. Within the cinnamon place the necklace you wish to enchant.

In the front of the cricle place a bloodstone representing courage and dexerity. It is here to bless the wearer with the ability to avoid situations and get themselves out of trouble. The next stone is ruby in the place towards the left. Evoke passion with this stone and bring about personal power to the wearer of the jewerly. Lastly to the right place a tigerstone. Around the circle place garlid, cinemon, and chili pepper embuing the necklace with the gift of fire. Lastly place a line of rock salt begin chanting “AMULET I BESEECH THEE THE ABILITY OF WISDOM, COURAGE, AND DECEPTION UPON ME YOUR WEARER ELEMENTS I COMAND YOU” take the necklace and place your hand over it. Imagine drawing everything within the matt in the necklace. Say a few chants and mabye a few prayers. There it is done. Your necklace is now enchaned with the best aspects of fire.

This riual much like the ritual of the key is untested. In speaking with Abgonn or the spirit who claims to be him it has been revelaed to me that he won’t just bestow any knowledge upon anyone who does the ritual but rather that he has to feel their worthy. As I wrote those words Belzebub interrupted sayin “that’s not true” the spirit I’ve been talking to that claimed to be Abgonn claims he had to work for his knowledge so he won’t just give it to anyone.

I don’t know who this spirit is but its clear to me whomever they are that they are using Abgonn as a mask. Hopper/Usagi and my aspect relative to him is real. I confirmed it with Occeair. He told me and I paraphrase “Hopper is a lot like you I’m glad he’s in on it” or something of the sort. Lately Abadon has been reaching out but I’ve been minorly afraid to reach out to him. Last time I talked to him I made a fool of myself and lately that is all I have done as well. I do still care quite a bit about what people think of me. But I’ve started to realize that this naivety act isn’t one of power so it’s one I don’t need where I currently am.

A spirit whom we’ll call D told me he’d help me polish my facade but in exchange I have to read his book which I am in the process of doing however slow. It’s a book centered around depression. How fun. Lately my own depression is back and I blame the hospital. I think something got attached to me when I went there and it’s causing me to become depressed. It’s not the medicine though as it turns out the hospital’s medicine I had been prescribed that I had been taking throughout my crazy spills causes psychosis. So I’m not crazy I was just given bad pills. Now that I’m mostly recovered I can’t help but look on my former actions as idiocy.

I’m finally at a good point mental wise. I hate that you as a journal have seen me at my worst. It is tragic in a way. I’m on new medicine and my alters are somewhat gone as a result of it. It’s kind of nice actually. Unfortunately the medicine causes hallucinations so I’ll be off of it soon. I evoked Orias without a circle the other day. I knew it amateur in a way.  I got myself for once into a proper meditative state and then I called him though several spirits showed up.

I spoke to him on the aspect of shapeshifting to which he told me “I don’t need a photo I already know what Tagen wants to look like” much to my surprise. I wear a necklace in not necessarily devotion but as a form of connection with Dionysus. I feel his energy on the necklace. It’s a ouija board necklace. Earlier I was checking my diary entry with Boccus debating with myself whether or not it was actually him and I held my necklace and I heard a voice say “no it was me” then I recalled how he felt of divinity when I was speaking to him and that was the same energy of the necklace. I really want a relationship with Dionysus. He’s one of my favorite gods and somebody I look up too. I debate whether or not it is an imposter entity that I have seen in the mirror or if it is simply my imagination but the greek gods just don’t work that way.

I talked to Afrodeity recently and I felt divinity as I spoke to her. That’s the giveaway I think and I mentioned to her that the greek gods normally don’t operate in this manner and she said “you’re right we don’t” so that’s that. I have many encounters with gods I have not told you about. I only mention this however briefly because Abgonn suggested that I write it. Or rather everything. This was the same thing my spirit whom we’ll call Chase also said.

I’ve been debating turning my nightstand back into an alter. It holds my incense, my jewelry, my bank and my other jewelry. It also holds a decorative block/painting and a figurine. It would make so much more sense to just turn it back into an alter but I have nowhere to put things within my room. As soon as I have something for the nightstand I will reserve it to be an later once more.

But yeah I evoked Orias. He told me that what I was hearing wasn’t voices but rather spirits. They felt different then voices because once I was on medicine that caused me to hear them and they were physical voices I in the real world heard, they were actually present. What I’m hearing now feels like a voice but it’s not physical for me. It’s like a wave of a sound that I FEEL rather than HEAR. It’s hard to describe. I’m glad to know I’m not crazy in some respects but very much in others I still have ways to go for my sanity. The gods have taken note of me as they do all magicians and I’m worried as to how I can handle it.

Something is calling me into the mirror. Probably another spirit wishing the comune. I will leave you with this. One of my demons asked me to go downstairs for he had something to show me. I walk outside as instructed and see before me a hummingbird. Noco has been discreet. I saw him once after a talk with occeair. Is it weird despite barley knowing him that I kind of miss him? I don’t know.

Anyways that’s all for now.

  • Acrians Locket

8/14/19

5:19 PM

Entries 117-118

Journal 117: “Pain I think, can teach us more about ourselves then the pleasantries so easily handed to us” – Adam Snowflake

So I’m on new medicine that’s possibly causing me to hallucinate and hear voices. That’s not fun. I’ll be better in a few days but dam daniel shit be tripping. With that being said I was online and I stumbled upon an upside down question mark with a line through it. This was what I created when I tried to make a sigil for myself. It’s kind of what I’ve been using as a watermark. Also looking at the way I POORLY described Abgonn in my journal he does resemble Odin but I would also for the record just like to say he is nothing like him I am just bad at describing things. Abgonn’s job is to hold and keep sacred knowledge from earth and then later reveal it and advance humanity when it’s time. He doesn’t withhold the knowledge. 

Not necessarily. I’m a blabbermouth and wished to see that personified and bam their came Abgonn. Abgonn feels blank and flat to me. He does resemble several gods of knowledge but he was supposed to be born already knowing a lot via his divinity. He’s the kind of guy who would still seek to explore it, but he doesn’t have to. As I was typing this someone aka a spirit of mine say “divinity doesn’t work that way” to which I feel the need to reply that this is just a story for an aspect I created when breaking apart my spiritual heart. Or scanning it and personifying it. It’s not meant to be the most picture perfect portrayal or even the most magically accurate inclined one. It’s his “backstory” and because I’m an idiot I may get things wrong.

So is Abgonn odin? No. Is Odin an influence? Well as much as tote or belzebub is so the answer to that question is also a no. Abgonn is intelligent but he also gets frustrated with me fairly easily. That’s something that occurs with 98% of my aspects. Lately now that I’m feeling better with my anxiety and depression I’ve noticed that, I’m still doing a few things wrong. Especially regarding evocation. I have to get my hands on some grimoires and hopefully learn to evoke these guys to physical manifestation. It takes time, effort and a hell of dedication but if you really are doing this shit right? Then eventually you’ll be abel to evoke them in no time.

Also one of my atlers Tagen I believe went to Orias asking for help shapeshifting. I decided I’m going to take the reigns here and just work it out myself. Once I have the proper tools I’ll do it. We can start by obtaining virgin candles. I finally have the money saved up for that tattoo of Belzebub’s sigil I promised him ages ago. So that’s gona be fun. Same place as last time even tho they “butchered” me according to several people. They didn’t. This is what it looks like and while the lines were wavy it really was my fault for not doing proper aftercare and picking at it.

So yeah not the best tatoo ever but since this is a backpeice and they do walkins nobody is going to be able to stop me. Honestly i’ve watied so long I’m just ready to get this over with. Anyways that’s all for now. I’m starting to hear voices as a result of this medicine. Talk to you later.

  • Acrians Locket

8/9/19

11:28 PM

Journal 118: Wolves Without Teeth ||| Of Monsters And Men

So I had a friend who got hit by a car do to us banaishing her “holy guardian angel” aka her higher self. This was something we did as new magicians and I’m very lucky that things turned out the way they did. I used to have an alter named Abadril and while that is currently one of my magickal aliases it used to be the name of my bad alter. While everyone else in my head was doing fine on the sanity front Abadril was my first real of taste of insanity. We called him the “crazy alter” because of how bad he was. Now having been there I feel really bad about it.

Anyways I had some sort of dream or preminsion while sleeping of this friend of mine being happy alive and well. She banished her higher self using the demon known as Barbatos and he said that he couldn’t keep it away forever bu he could keep it. I decided I’m going to create a new aspect of a healer in order to help her. Something tells me she would be a woman. Then I’ll do a ritual and call upon her even within my own divinity to heal kathy. That was her name. Kathy. I can’t take this anymore it is so bloody painful.

I miss Kathy. I really do. It might be the mood swinging medicine talking but it is so god damned painful for being responsible for something like that. I am not my alters. I don’t hold myself accountable for their actions but my body was there and had i just had control this never would have occurred. It irritates me in a lot of ways. Seeing people not believe in something so powerful and surrounding them. I’ve literally turned atheistic cold hearted non believers into believers at the flick of my wrist and its because the second you start messing with this shit you believe it to be real. That’s how faith exists in a lot of ways I think.

Anyways on top of this Bairtaste is in my wifes life. I call her my wife. My spirits get irritated when I go over this sort of vibe with them. But latley she found someone she’s infatuated with and has been doing makeup and I looked at it and I was like “bairtaste you bro” I love bairtaste I truly adore him. Even though his speciality is sex it’s important to note that regardless of what his rules state he can very much do love. Occeiar doesn’t want me comparing the genwa gods to old ones no matter prevalent the connection may be. I feel like Occeair keeps changing. His personality is far from stable. Oh he is very rreal but he keeps changing and I don’t know what to do about it or even why. He told me Bairtaste was upset that I deleted the playlist I made him but I’ll rework it soon. So yeah. That’s all for now. One more thing. I’ve been handed several rituals that I can’t share publically. One of them is the creation of a mask spiritually for you using that of a real mask. The spirits are very adamant about me not sharing these rituals.

I also got permission to do a money spell for my mom so that’s good. I may still be bound by my thumb to not use it for personal gain but god dammit my family is not me and I don’t intend to benefit form it. We’re going through hard times right now. I’m out of candles and I lack proper evocation tools but I’m going to call up Marbas, a demonic healer, Gaap someone I used to have a pact with, Lucifuge do to confusion regarding a deal and Lucifer. I have a lot I need to talk about with these guys and once I get the proper tools I’ll add King Paimon and Belzebub to that list. Belzebub has ben adamant that he doesn’t want me evoking him unless I am going to do it right. I have no idea what “right” entails since I can hear them just fine in my evocations but they have yet to physically manifest for me and that says something.

But yeah. Orias too since I want to learn to shapeshihft from the man. It’s far from the only suff he’s good at, but it’s something I wish to explore.

Anyways, that’s it for today. I’m still broken up about shit.

  • Acrians Locket
  • 4:48 PM
  • 8/11/19
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